


Dream_Seeker's thoughts about Higgs Monaghan. (GAME SPOILERS!!!)

by Dream_Seeker



Category: Death Stranding (Video Games)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Gen, Personal Canon, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:33:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27794641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dream_Seeker/pseuds/Dream_Seeker
Summary: Honestly.Lots of swearing in thisBut it's gotta be said.Also observant readers of my work will see a few familiar paragraphs below that are in my fic on here called "Oh what tangled webs we weave."That part was what made this hatch inside me.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 7





	Dream_Seeker's thoughts about Higgs Monaghan. (GAME SPOILERS!!!)

Bear with me as I write. This topic is a huge sore spot to me and a huge reason why I won't ever finish the game. Why? It's a stupid reason overall in the real world but I never claimed to be level-headed either. Ha!

I've watched the whole game on YouTube, for the record. It's the most I'm doing. 

* * *

Okay. Let's start at the beginning, shall we? 

Higgs as a kid was brutally abused by his UncleDaddy (not quite sure who precisely hurt that sweet precious little cupcake so it's UncleDaddy. Fight me.) 

Little Higgs could not do a thing right even if he DID do it right. Who knows how brutal and what forms the abuse took. Abuse is abuse and it twists a person. 

So years of nothing but hate coming his way for zero reason. Kid wanted and craved love and acceptance just like ANY kid would. He got his love in the form of a fist, belt, slap, kick, etc.

Fast forward. He kills his UncleDaddy. Despite finally being free, he _had_ to have felt a mixture of emotions. To be beaten was how love was shown. To be beaten was bad and wrong. 'Now I have to kill to escape but I'm killing the only person who raised me and loved me in his own way.' 

That kinda thing. 

Plus, no matter what Higgs did as a kid, he failed in his mind. Always failed. Why else would UncleDaddy always beat him?

Fast forward. He gets his own Porter business going. Wants to help the people. Is hoping change will come and he'd be part of it.   
Change doesn't come.   
He failed.   
His good friend got caught up in a void out.   
Higgs failed by not being there with his friend to save him. 

Fail, fail, fail.

Everything he loves and enjoys falls apart. 

I have nothing on the Fragile incident. Except later I'll explain WHY he did it. There's a THING. trust me.

So Higgs craves someone powerful to be the guidance he never got as a kid. UncleDaddy was powerful. Enter the level 5 Dooms sufferer Fragile. 

Higgs learns tons from her. 

Enter Amelie. 

Even stronger than Fragile. 

Amelie sees Higgs' desperate need to be loved, to believe someone powerful as possible will care for him truly. Finally. 

To get that, Higgs will do precisely as Amelie wants - because Higgs did that as a child to try to get UncleDaddys approval. He will get Amelie's approval and FINALLY be appreciated. Told he did a great job. Be praised. 

Perhaps Fragile did that for him but it wasn't as good as the praise and affection that the stronger Amelie gave him. 

And those strongest was who Higgs desperately craved positive attention from.

So he kicked Fragile aside. 

Amelie then delivers the beginning of the end to poor Higgs:

The golden mask made entirely of.....

Concentrated Chiralium. 

Concentrated Chiralium WILL do some bad rotten stuff to someone not used to it. 

It turned Higgs insane as did his sudden jump from a level 4 Dooms to a level 8 Dooms. Way too much way too fast.

So Higgs has all this power and is stronger than anyone aside from Amelie. He finally has recognition. People fear him like his UncleDaddy should have. 

Sammy-boy is someone Higgs can't stand because Sam is direct competition for Amelie's love and care.

"Not ruining this for me, Sam." is what Higgs was no doubt thinking. Get rid of Sammy-boy and his Amelie will resume placing her attention all on Higgs.

The bomb that Fragile intercepted was the final straw for Higgs. It was to be one of his finest moments - something which would permanently endear Amelie to him and perhaps gain him more power. 

That move coupled with the fact Fragile was friends with Sam, Higgs' competition, snapped the final something in Higgs. So he decided to destroy Fragile just like he had been destroyed over and over. 'Destroy my hard work and I'll destroy you in return. No one will keep me from doing all I can to keep impressing my Amelie.' basically. 

The fight comes. 

Higgs gives his all.

Figured he could count on Amelie. He was doing her work to help her achieve their goals after all. 

And then...

She strips him of all of his Dooms. All of it. _When he needed it the most_.

No warning.  
  
Just gone. Poof. 

The look in his eyes when he realized he'd gotten used, screwed over and failed yet AGAIN broke me. _Shattered_ me. 

Here was a guy who just wanted to be loved and accepted. Got used multiple times.   
Kept failing even when he figured he was winning finally. Doing the right thing. 

And then he gets the worst prison sentence to exist. To sentence him to eternity alone on his Beach? I don't care WHAT crimes he committed. 

Eternity. 

Alone. That's not 50 years. Not 5000 years. Not 50k years. Not 500 million billion years. Not even 50000 trillion years.

It's eternity.

 **Alone**. 

It's akin to Higgs creating the biggest and meanest BT to ever ever ever exist- and having it kill a CELL. 

AKA: Overkill. 

Amelie abused his trust, his desire to have someone - ANY one - care about him, she lied to him, USED him and then vomited him out like he was merely a bad piece of meat she doesn't think twice about - then takes her "gift" away like it never mattered and now Higgs gets the worst prison sentence and Amelie gets to skip away like nothing happened?!

Amelie hurt so many fucking people and instead of letting Higgs off her leash when she realized she didn't want to destroy the world after all, she still kept him around, tied to her like a loyal dog and then drop kicked him when he was trying to protect her. 

Amelie did egregious harm to someone who _already_ had everyone who was to care about and love him abuse him.... He finally had what he thought was acceptance and love and absolutely adored Amelie - and that prison sentence was how Amelie, Sam and Fragile repay him?! Maybe eternity isn't shit to Amelie, but to a freaking human being, it's more than forever. To a _broken_ human being who only ever wanted love, it's worse than forever. 

AMELIE made Higgs finally snap. Amelie shattered him and yet she ended up strolling away perfectly happy. She's an absolutely reprehensible person.

Once that Chiralium overdose left his mind, we know DAMNED WELL he reverted to the kind and compassionate Higgs he'd been once he got free from UncleDaddy. 

Amelie corrupted him and he paid one hell of an overkill price. 

And it plain out sucks and isn't fair. 

* * *

As I said at the beginning I refuse to end the game. In mine, Higgs is fist fighting Sam, Sam is losing by my choice, and the game is off. 

Game over. 

Here's the 'I did this for a stupid reason in the real world" part I had mentioned at the beginning of this Higgs Monaghan thesis-novel.

I may sound silly, but I like to believe that anything Man creates, exists _somewhere_. Maybe in an alternate universe, maybe alternate reality, maybe in parallel worlds. Whatever. Anything created exists somewhere. It was given life via someone's mind.

  
And it can't exist here in this world, so it exists in another.

Ergo, in my mind, Higgs et al exists. 

And maybe, as long as I don't let him be exiled in my game, he won't be exiled at all. 

No one deserves that kind of overkill punishment. 

No one.


End file.
